Since I’ve been on my weight loss journey I’ve lost around 70+ pounds and people ask me all the time, “Alex, what was your motivation?” I would always end up giving them the same generic answer, “to be healthier….blah blah blah”. But in reality, that’s not the reason. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with meeting guys and having real friendships with other women. When I would go out with friends, guys don’t dance with me or say “Hey, you want a drink?” That never happens. Only one guy has approached me and struck up a conversation.
But anyways, the real reason I wanted to lose weight is because I thought that would make my relationships easier. Not just relationships with guys, but my friendships with other women as well. During high school and some of college I thought I was the friend people kept around because it made them look good? You know what I mean. I had one friend who wouldn’t even take pictures with me. It may seem silly, but on those “national best friend” days, she would upload a picture of everyone else but then always call me her best friend. I convinced myself it was because I was the ugly fat friend. I was a wonderful friend, but I wasn’t good enough for her social networks. And now that I look back, its fine because I don’t need people like that in my life anyways.
But that’s the real reason. I lost weight because I thought it would make people like me more. As embarrassing as it is to admit, that was my thought process. I mean, after all no one wants to be in a relationship or friends with someone who is pushing 300+ pounds…right?
Wrong. I’ve recently learned that it doesn’t matter. If you’re 100 pounds or 500 pounds, the people who are not meant to be in your life will still treat you wrong regardless of what you look like. And the people who change the way they treat you because of how you look, need to go in the same bucket as the ones who treat you wrong. Because you don’t need them either.
If you want to do something, do it because YOU want to. Because YOU want to be a better you. Don’t do it to please any one else. At the end of the day, they’re not going to care anyways. Yes, I’m healthier than I was 6 month ago. I probably have almost a brand new wardrobe because I can’t fit most of my old bigger clothes and I probably look like a totally different person, but that has nothing to do with who I am as a person. And that’s what people who you call your “friends” should care about.
If they don’t you need to get your receipt and take them back to the good will where you got them.